Surviving Saturn Retrograde: 6/29 - 11/15 2024

Ah, Saturn Retrograde—a time when the cosmic taskmaster turns back to check if we've been slacking off. From June 29 to November 15, 2024, Saturn's pulling a classic "let's review your life choices" move, and spoiler alert: It's all about karma, discipline, and facing your past. But fear not, we're here to break it down. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy (but enlightening) ride!

Saturn Retrograde, What the Heck is It?

Imagine Saturn as the strict teacher of the zodiac, waving a ruler and eyeing your work with a "could do better" expression. When this planet goes retrograde, it appears to moonwalk across the sky. But instead of Michael Jackson’s smooth moves, it’s more like a cosmic audit. We're talking about a review of our long-term goals, responsibilities, and the structures we rely on—because, you know, Saturn loves a good "I told you so."

What to Expect during this Cosmic Audit.

Have a five-year plan? Saturn's here to check if you’ve been following it or just doodling in the margins. Projects might slow down, giving you plenty of time to rethink your next steps—like whether becoming a llama farmer is still a viable option.

Saturn’s the universe’s hall monitor, reminding us to respect authority and follow the rules. During this retrograde, you might find yourself questioning the status quo or asking, “Do we really need another meeting?”

Remember that time you skipped the gym for Netflix? Saturn’s here to remind you (and your waistline). It’s the perfect time to pay back old debts or finally apologize for eating your roommate’s leftovers.

Feeling the sudden urge to organize your closet or balance your budget? That's Saturn whispering, “Get your life together.” Embrace it; now's the time to adult, even if it means actually reading the terms and conditions.

How to Prepare your Saturn Survival Kit?

Self-reflection isn’t just for bathroom selfies. Use this time to look inward—evaluate your life choices and decide if you’re on the right path or just lost in the cereal aisle of life.

Saturn's all about boundaries, and not the kind that involve chocolate. Evaluate your personal and professional boundaries. Are you overcommitting? It's time to channel your inner "no" person.

With Saturn, patience is more than a virtue; it’s a survival skill. Progress may be slower than a sloth on a lazy Sunday, but persistence pays off. So, take a deep breath and embrace the pace.

Both literally and metaphorically, it’s time to declutter. Clean out that junk drawer, address past issues, and Marie Kondo your emotional baggage. Does it spark joy? No? Then let it go!

Where to Focus? The Life Laundry List.

Channel your inner motivational speaker and work on self-improvement. Set realistic goals, or at least aim for something beyond “I will survive Saturn Retrograde without crying.”

Check in on your career trajectory. Are you climbing the corporate ladder or stuck on the first rung? Use this time to plot your next career move, even if it’s just updating your LinkedIn profile.

Saturn’s a fan of quality over quantity. Focus on strengthening your relationships. Whether it's family, friends, or that weird guy at the coffee shop who knows your order by heart, invest in meaningful connections.

Time to trade in those midnight snacks for something green. Establish healthier routines and habits. Remember, Saturn loves discipline, and your future self will thank you for it.

So, there you have it—a rundown on surviving Saturn Retrograde. Treat it as a cosmic cleaning service, here to help you dust off your goals and polish your potential. Just remember to laugh along the way, because if there's one thing the universe loves more than karma, it’s a good sense of humor. Happy retrograding!